Guilty Pleasure Breaking News !!!

It was my intention, when starting this blog just over a year ago, to post pop culture news that interested me. Well, that died off pretty quickly. But every now and again there's news that my inner geek must share with the rest of the world.

Yes, that's right. They're planning to remake Disney's The Black Hole. This from the guys who are currently re-imaging Tron.

What does this mean for me? Well, after the success of Star Trek, and hopefully Avatar, it looks like a new space opera phase of cinema could be upon us again.
Yeah baby, Yeah!

http://robotchicken.wikia.com/wiki/The_Black_Hole

Because Superman Thinks Twilight Is Dumb Too

Brandon Routh is cool. Not only for doing a damn fine job at playing the man of steel. Or for his supurb Zack & Miri cameo. But for making this chucklesum Twilight spoof. Because some films just invite ridicule...even from movie stars...

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh

The Pants-Meet-Shit Project

Paranormal Activity is a superb addition to the craze for first person POV horror/thrillers, joining REC, Cloverfield and The Blair Witch Project. Like those movies, the footage from the 'found' hand held cameras allows the audience to participate as if they were actually there. There's no 'obvious' movie trickery like scripting, framing, lighting or editing that breaks the illusion that this freaky haunting is really happening. Of course it IS all staged but the illusion is maintained throughout...even to the point of having no main or end credits to the film.

It's reminiscent (and frankly, nearly as good as) Robert Wise's The Haunting, The Exorcist and Candyman in the supernatural horror department. Like those movies it makes you believe in the reality of the situation, gradually introduces a terrifying elemeny over which the protagonists have very little control and asks you, "what would you do?". The two inhabitants of the haunted house react just as you or I would; both scared, but one wanting to investigate and resist, the other preferring to be submissive and get advice. Their actions would be our actions, avoiding many horror characters cliche's...they turn the lights on, they consider running for it, they get help. Plus the fact it's set in a modern suburban house, of which most people can identify with further makes this all too close to home.

The tone is unsettling throughout, building as the disturbance grow in frequency and intensity. The ending, re shoot at the suggestion of one S. Spielberg gives the story the dramatic umph it need after 75 minutes of sphincter puckering. An excellent, excellent movie that is a rare thing; a scary horror movie. A Poltergeist for the webcam generation, this will be the movie that wives, mothers and girlfriends will refuse to watch for generations to come.

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Not.

Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow are two writer/directors who produce stories of friendship and love. While Smith has never broken into the mainstream, Apatow has broken through with the great comedies The 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up. He follows this up with Funny People, set in the world of stand-up comedy. And like his, and Smith's, other work it mixes recognisable, down-to-earth drama with outrageoud, lewd humour.

Unfortunately Funny People isn't that funny. It's a comedy/drama with the emphasis on the drama. At over 2 hours, it's way too long and seems to ramble endlessly. The dick and fart gags are present, but Apatow is too busy trying to create a naturalistic onscreen atmosphere that it sacrafices comic timing for realism. Worst of though is the premise; lead Adam Sandler spend the entire movie pondering disease, death, loneliness, cheating and breaking up marraiges. Perhaps if it wasn't so intent on coming across as realistic, another director could have let the humour breath. As it stands, you feel awkward and depressed from all the heavy shit going down to want to laugh at the dick gags.

On the plus side Adam Sandler shows he really can act while Eric Bana, unrestrained in his natural Ozzie accent shows what a charismatic bloke he can be, if allowed.
I'm never been a fan of Sandler movies, especially the high concept crap of the late 90's, early naughties (50 First Dates good, Longest Yard awful) but Funny People does make me long for the wacky crap of Little Nicky.

Disposal Of The Proposal

Take the Universal Romcom Playbook and mix it with the plot of Meet The Parents and you have The Proposal, the latest hit romantic comedy from Sandra Bullock. Bullock plays uptight, bitch, Canadian editor Margaret who will be forcefully departed unless she blackmails her assistant, every(American)man Ryan Reynolds in to marrying her. Thus, he take her home to Alaska to 'meet the parents' to live their deception.

Bullock is great. Reynolds is great. Steenburgen and Craig T are also great, as is Betty White. All great. But the script is a little too familar, the direction slick but flat and the script lacking in the amazing situations and dialogue that made the Fockers movies so memorable. Given a cast this talented (Bullock and Reynold make for a strong sparring couple), this whole endevor seems like a wasted opportunity.

Zombie Rape 90210

Deadgirl is a low budget 'indie' horror about two high school lads who discover a beautiful, chained up woman in the basement of a, you guessed it, abandonded mental hospital. After discovering she cannot die (yep, she's an yet-to-be-decomposed zombie) they decide to keep her for their own deviant sexual purposes. One lad thinks this is a good idea, the other does not.

Given the above premise, you'd have thought someone, at some point, would call the police, a doctor, a scientist...someone. But alas, all the teens in this particular town are sick, horny, zombie nailin' kids. The cast are uniformly weak, with the lead, Shiloh Fernandez looking like Joaquin Phoenix with all the talent removed. It's trying to make a point about how males look down upon the female gender , but it's just not interesting enought to care about the subtext its presenting.

Still, sick as this may be, it wouldn't half liven up the Twilight saga if zombie prostitution was added to that franchises mythology. Just a thought.

Escape From District B-13

If you've seen the first District B-13 movie, then you can expect more of the same from this fantastic sequel (Escape from New York, in Paris, with free-running). In District 13 Ultimatum, the corrupt secret service are trying to manipulate the French President into destroying slumsville B-13 and it's up to returning heroes, Cyril Rafaelli and David Belle to kick serious amounts of ass and run up and down buildings a lot...which they do admirably.

The sequel's glossier, a little sillier but just as fun and furious in the action department. The set pieces are well structured and the editor has enough sense to stand back and let the miracles of martial arts and acrobatics speak for themselves, without MTV induced epilepsy being inflicted on its audience.

The French are presently taking over the world in the hardcore horror department, and along with Luc Besson, they're cornering the market in classy but trashy adult action movies too. Long live France.